Other peoples' lab skills, or lack thereof

Sometimes I hate the fact that some of the experiments I do require other peoples’ help. Not because I don’t like working with other people, but because I don’t like relying on other peoples’ lab skills, or lack thereof. I am not saying that mine are perfect, but I do have some good lab skills thanks to extensive experience working in a few different labs before becoming a graduate student. If my advisor were to pick one student out of the lab to try a new protocol, it would be me. I know how to do a lot of stuff, and I know how to do it well.

Recently I pulled out some frozen homogenized tissue samples to thaw, or what I thought were homogenized samples. It turns out they weren’t as homogenized as they should be, as in there are LARGE, clearly visible chunks of tissue that I wouldn’t have missed had I been the one doing the homogenizing. The strange thing is that all the samples that have this problem were processed on the same day, but I can’t figure out who has crappy homogenizing skills. Even if I did know who the culprit was, it wouldn’t make any difference…pointing out the fact that they have potentially screwed up several samples isn’t going to make the samples any better, nor is it going to make the person feel good. The only potential good I can see from pointing this out is that, in the future, the person might pay closer attention to make sure the whole tissue is homogenized, and that may not even matter because I have no way of knowing if the person is ever going to homogenize tissue ever again.

I do realize that at some point in one’s career, you have to take some necessary risks to get some things done. I consider one of these risks to be allowing others to help you do lab work. In order for this to happen without bad things occurring (i.e. ending up with crappy samples), these people need to be properly trained. Sometimes the training takes a long time. Sometimes it takes 5 minutes. Homogenizing tissue with a tissue tearor (basically a dremel tool with a fancy attachment) is one of the 5 minute lessons. It isn’t hard. Really, a five year old could do it. All it takes is some manual dexterity and good eyesight. And your eyesight doesn’t have to be THAT good to do it. Hence, my frustration at having unhomogenized tissue samples.

One also realizes at some point in their science career that the more samples you have, the better, and in my case (and especially lucky for the non-homogenizer), I have samples that can replace these that have been properly homogenized. Murphy’s Law strikes again.

Love and annoyance

Some days I have what can best be described as a love/extremely annoyed relationship with my life, and this mostly has to do with the fact that I have two young children. Sometimes I really get annoyed with my kids. And it isn’t their fault. It is mine for not having enough patience and having too many things that I need and want to get done. And I just love them to pieces so I am not unhappy with the fact that I have kids, I just want more time.

Right now I am only working half days in the lab. This is due to a couple reasons:
1. We can’t afford full time care for two kids, and
2. The kids and I don’t wake up until 7:30ish and I can’t get them and myself ready quickly enough to be anywhere before 10.
So I drop the kids off at 12:30, and I am in the lab by 12:45 or 1.

It seems intuitive that I would have enough time in the mornings before I drop off the kids to get things done around the house. This is simply not the case. Once I get Riddick settled, Trinity needs something, and vice versa. Plus I am trying to deal with the dog and getting myself breakfast and ready to go, and getting kids fed and ready. Needless to say, our mornings are hectic, and most days I feel overwhelmed.

I feel like I am making very little progress toward my degree because of the part-time daycare issue. I know that, eventually, I will be able to get more reading done at home when Trinity gets a little older and isn’t so dependent on mommy. But at this juncture in my graduate career, I feel like I need to be closer to at least getting a publication out. Perhaps I compare myself to other graduate students too much, especially those who do not have children. There are days when I don’t even get into the lab because I have to run errands that I simply cannot do with a bull-headed, independent, spirited 3 year old and an infant in tow. The balance (or lack thereof) of work and home really takes its toll.

Right now I think I will have to spend more time in graduate school to get finished, which is really not ideal. Not because of my home life, but because of the financial situation that would put us in. So in addition to the other worries in my life, I worry about this.

However, balanced with all the frustration and worry is the love part of my life. When I step back, take a deep breath, and just look at my life, I love it. My family is amazing (extended included) and I love them. I love where I live. I love my friends. I love what I do. And then I realize that I really do stress too much about stuff. I just need to take one day at a time and get done what I can and not worry so much about what I can’t.